a sight after a break

It's back to school after the holidays, and for some reason, today I kept seeing old men walking around campus in spandex jogging pants. Spandex jogging pants alone are awkward, but place a pair of dude's legs in them, and things just get... really skinny.

The Last Month

In the last month, I've realized:

1) I don't take kindly to exuberant amounts of sugar like I used to

2) I've developed an intense intense coffee addiction

3) Good luck keeping your room clean and bed clear of crap during exam week

4) Studying is something you have to re-teach yourself

5) The freshman 15 apparently doesn't discriminate against age or prior experience of living on your own

6) I have never been so tired in my life

7) Every day is one day closer to Christmas break

8) I've been spending too much time watching the Gilmore Girls and daydreaming about going to classes and studying instead of actually going to classes and studying

9) Quitting smoking has caused me to cut back on my fresh air time

10) Studying is a great procrastination aid.

Really?

1) I have something to say about the women who work at the campus coffeeshop... Picture this: it's 5 to 9, you're class stars in a few minutes, there is a line up that goes to the door, and there is one woman behind the counter, taking her sweet time waiting for a bagel to be toasted, while another woman is sitting down at a table, chatting with her friend, clearly on her break.

Okay. Maybe you don't understand the concept of fast and efficient food service, but taking a break at the busiest time of the day? Really?

And there are times when there are three women behind the counter and they're all just as equally slow! They are really oblivious to the fact that there is a line full of students that have to BE somewhere in less than 10 minutes. It should take no one 3 minutes to pour a cup of coffee. No one.

2) I wore trackpants to school yesterday for the first time since... probably grade 6. It was weird. I felt... shameful. I probably won't do that again.

3) Yesterday during one of my lectures, I was so distracted by the girl sitting in front of me. She was on her laptop, chatting away on facebook, constantly looking at her profile picture. Then she turned her head and I noticed she was wearing the most obviously fake eyelashes. You know, the kind they sell at a drugstore before Halloween? I just wondered, why?

4) This morning, on my way to school, I was walking along minding my own business, when all of a sudden out of nowhere comes this pain on my leg. I look down and see this hideous ugly ball of fur jumping around me and barking a shrill bark. This thing just BIT me!!??!! I was standing there shaking, my fists started to clench, the muscles in my thigh started to tighten as I was extremely close to kicking the dog right in it's face. I just about the step on it's head when two things stopped me: 1) a voice in the back of my mind said, "don't step on the dog - this thing doesn't know any better and you can't deal with a bloody mess this early in the morning" and 2) the owner came out. Lucky. Lucky for that ugly small Chihuahua slash some other small furry rat-like dog. The owner asked me if he'd bitten me and I said, Yeah. Why else would I be holding my leg, looking at her dog with such furry in my eyes.

Then she scolded "Hector" by saying "Don't!" and I just walked away thinking how I would get my revenge.

I get to school, my class is cancelled, so I hobble back home.

Love is in the air.

good morning saturday

So I think I've found my new favorite weekend activity.

This morning, I was strolling about town, trying to find the farmer's market, when I decided to stop for coffee at the campus coffee shop. As I'm walking along, I realize that I'd never been here on a weekend before, let alone early in the morning. The air was really crisp and fresh, the sun was shining and the whole place was so quiet. So still. The only other person I saw was a younger guy, sitting on a curb in front of a residence building. I think he may have been either really drunk or coming down off something.

Then I noticed the best part of the adventure. Among the beautiful quietness and serenity of the morning, I was all of a sudden faced with ripped beer cases, empty chip bags, garbage bins and litter scattered across the landscaped gardens, a whole role of toilet paper decorating a pine tree, and finally, a window screen strategically placed on a shrubbery.

I don't know why this whole image amused me, but I actually chuckled. I really should walk around the res buildings early on Saturday mornings more often.

i'm not sure about this...

Yesterday, I was eating my lunch in the cafeteria for the first time, studying some of my notes. It was pretty busy in there, so I decided to sit on a couch in the back of the room. It was quieter. An older looking guy sits down on the couch next to me, I think nothing of it.

As I'm finishing up, I turn my head and catch this man staring at me while eating his food. Not just casual staring, but full on spell-casting staring. He wasn't even chewing his food properly.

It was awkward, especially because of his delayed reaction time when he realized I had caught him in a stare.

Also, since last weekend, I've been getting random text messages from strangers which leads me to believe that either a) I've been giving my number out unknowingly to random people or b) someone has been giving wrong numbers to annoying chicks they pick up at parties. Due to the nature of the texts, I think it's safe to say that the latter is probably more realistic.

I really don't know why I haven't called yet. I'm sorry.

those constant little reminders

I was sitting in the school coffee shop the other morning, reading the newspaper waiting for class to start, and I pick up bits and parts of a conversation between a girl and a guy:

girl:  i didn't think you'd remember me

guy:  for sure i did

girl:  cool...

(awkward silence break)

guy:  so what are you up to this weekend?

girl:  i think i might go to the pub.  but maybe not.  maybe just pre-drink at my friend's house.

guy:  cool.  do you have an i.d.?

girl:  oh yeah totally

(rummages in bag, pulls out card and hands it to him)

girl:  it's not me, but i think it should work.

guy:  oh yeah.  it will totally work.

At this exact moment, they both stopped and turned to face me.  I guess my eyes were burning holes into the sides of their heads.  I casually coughed and looked at the time and then continued reading my newspaper.

This had never occurred to me, before that exact moment, that more than half the people in the bars or pubs or wherever, are underage!  Now everything starts to make more sense.  Now I realize why I hate every local watering hole in this town.  

Also, just a few moments ago, I received an email from some silly Off Campus Housing email list I accidentally signed up for at the beginning of the year.  A Sexy Girl's Halloween party.  At the school.  "No boys allowed".  

What are we?  17?  Oh wait, most of you are...

saturday night life lesson

1.  When you're bored on a Saturday night and decide to take a little stroll to get some fresh air and then find yourself in the line to get into a pub which plays hip hop and dance tracks from 2004 from an ipod no less, and there is a $5 cover, so you wait 15 minutes in the ATM line but are behind a drunk guy who keeps swiping his card wrong and forgetting to press the buttons, and finally you get out the cash to pay the cover and the girl hands you an "Admit One" coupon like you're at a fair and you ask her what it's for, and she says proof of payment, but no one even asks to see it so you could have skipped on paying the stupid cover in the first place, and you wait for another 20 minutes at the bar to just get a one lousy drink, and you're weaving in and out of a sea of blonde girls who are all wearing the same shirt and a mass of drunk guys in baseball caps who keep bumping into you as you maneuver your way to farthest, darkest most secluded corner of  the "pub" and mock the people dancing to the shittiest songs you've ever heard in your life while text messaging your friends in Toronto, until the creepiest oldest guy in the place comes up to you and asks you if you want to go to a house party with him, just think about it a little more,  and then stay home.

typically stereotypical

So far, the stereotypes I had in my head regarding professors have been pretty accurate.  I'll elaborate.

Economics:  male, brown slacks, running shoes, messy gray hair, big gut.  Does not care about his appearance and has an overall dry personality.

Political Science:  male, tweed sports jacket, dark chino pants, brown casual walking shoes, glasses.  Prone to go off topic and can't use Google search that efficiently.

Anthropology:  female, long braid, birkenstock sandals, khaki coloured linen pants, loose flowing shirts, ethnic jewlery.  Extremely passionate about what she teaches and pronounces names of cities and countries in the proper pronunciation. 

Spanish:  female, long colourful scarves, necklaces, thick black curly hair.  Always smiling, and speaking in a thick Spanish accent.  

Art:  female, wears a smock covered in paint, charcoal on her fingers, carries a pencil, frizzy unkept hair.  Extremely passionate about art, hates the students who took the class because they thought it would be easy, completely forgetful.  

from the four corners of the spectrum

1.  How is it that I am able to sleep through my alarm and miss my favorite classes like Spanish and Political Science, and, I've yet to miss an Economics class.  Could that be any more ironic?

2. Walking home in the rain this morning, I noticed that the river looked like the Chocolate River in Willy Wonka and got super pumped.

3.  The other night, on my way to meet up with someone at the student pub, I passed a house party.  With live fiddle music and highland dancing in the living room.  I've never wanted to crash a party so badly in my life.

4.  I heard through the grape vine that a professor at my school had gotten arrested for child porn.  I so hoped it was my Economics teacher.  It wasn't.  In fact, it wasn't a professor at all, but a well respected bishop.  Are we really that surprised though?  Really?

All this before 9:30am

Well, this morning as I sat in my completely confusing and mind exploding Economics lecture, I looked up at the wall amidst a mid-frustration stretch (you know the kind...) and saw a little bug just chilling on the wall.  It was cool.  He was just there, soaking in some free information.  Way to go little bug man.

After class, I walked out into the early morning fresh air and looked around.  The sun was shining, the leaves are turning and I literally stopped in my tracks to really appreciate the picturesque view of the red and yellow rolling hills beyond the campus church towers.  It was really breathtaking.  

This thought was immediately interrupted by a white guy, in a yellow polo shirt with the collar popped, calling his blonde girlfriend his "shorty".

it's probably just PMS...

Here's a thing.  

Guys who wear plaid pajama pants to school.  And Adidas shower sandals.  Really?  Not just five minutes to put on some damn jeans?  You couldn't make the effort today, huh?  Not even a little bit...

Here's a thing.

White girls who give dreadlocks a bad name.  Myself included.  What are you trying to prove?  White girl.

Here's a thing.

Coughing in the middle of your professor's sentence.  Right at the most important point.  How about this.  Hold it in?  Hold your damn cough in.  I can't hear what's being said.

Here's a thing.

I can't stand it when people talk to me while I'm trying to learn something in class.  I don't care about the party you went to on the weekend, or how much you don't understand.  Maybe you would understand if you just shut up and listened to the lesson?  

Here's a thing.

Lousy internet connection.

It's probably just PMS...

old man

You know that commercial where the little old lady is walking down the street talking to herself and everyone thinks she's crazy, but as it turns out, she's just having a nice chat on a Bluetooth earpiece?

Well, I just saw that happen in real life.  But with an old man.

"Everything fails on me.  Cameras, printers, photocopiers, god damn scanners..."

It cheered me up to know that he also has difficulties with technology.

the ways not to study:

this is a following list of things that I have been distracted with while studying today:

-perezhilton.com

-the door creaking open and closed because of the draft

-birds flying outside my window

-the sun shining in from my window

-a mirror

-my phone (when there were no text messages or incoming phone calls)

-flickr.com

-a picture of Che Guevara

-saying Che Guevera in the proper pronunciation

-my roommate's pet finch

-cleaning my room

-another mirror

-reorganizing my desk

-laundry

-eating a kit kat, while leaning back in my bed thinking to myself how i do deserve a break

-wondering why that guy from art turned out to be such a creep

-thinking about how happy i am when i look like a homeless orphan

-missing toronto

-plucking my eyebrows

-cleaning the bathroom

-stretching out my sore back

-writing this blog entry

twice in one day?

This is what happened to me today.  Twice.

1.)  A girl I'd never seen before asked me if she'd missed anything important in Political Science.  I hesitated because I didn't quite understand her at first and then I realized she must have meant did she miss anything important in Political Science today.  I said no.  Because she hadn't.

2.)  A girl asked me if I was in Spanish 101 and I said yes.  Then she said she thought I looked familiar.  I've never seen her in my life.  And she lives in the basement apartment in my house.  

I can only think that I should be more aware of my surroundings.  Why else wouldn't I recognize these people who recognize me?

Also, as I was discussing with a fellow student, how I lived off campus because I was too old to live in residence, he said, "Don't worry.  I just turned 19 and my friend is 20."  There was a pause and I said, "I'm 25."  He nearly toppled over, and then hiding his laughter said, "Wow.  Good for you.  Good for you, that's awesome."  It was the highlight of my day.

a few things i've noticed...

1.  This is a town of runners.  No matter what day it is, no matter what time it is, no matter what the weather, there will always be a runner that you almost bump into on your way to anywhere in this town.

2.  I have alot of knots in my hair, according to the nice gentleman in line behind me today that gave me some spare change when I was a few cents short for my purchase.

3.  Guys still ask girls to watch them at practice... and girls still go...

4.  Societies night can be compared to both Halloween or a shopping spree.  People give me free candy while I shop for new friends.

5.  When you forget to eat for the entire day, you can easily eat a whole ready-to-bake pizza to yourself.

you get in trouble for that?

Last night, for the first time since I moved here, I went out.  Two of the greatest things happened:

1.  I met a girl not only from Toronto, but from Queen and Lansdowne, literally a block away from me.  We were so pleased to have found eachother.  We reminisced about Parkdale, Bacchus and Mother India rotis, and how no one seems to understand our sudden urges to cook and eat curry.

2.  We decided to run the new football field.  So we jumped the fence, ran the distance, did a cartwheel and got stopped by security.  Apparently they look down on that sort of thing.  They took our names and student numbers down.  Oops.

a run in with an ex

Ex Professor that is...

On my way home today, I bumped into the Professor of the Irish Gaelic course I just dropped last night.  I told him I dropped the class and he didn't really know what to say about that.  Then I proceeded to inform him that it was because I was taking Spanish and two languages was going to be too tough and that I needed Spanish for a job and hopefully I could take Gaelic again in a year or two.  All the while he was slowly backing away from me, smiling and nodding.  I then hesitated and said  "It has nothing to do with you as a person.  I just wanted to tell you that."  

Awkward meter:  Medium to High.

hello, i'm billy madison.

If you don't know who Billy Madison is, then you probably won't understand the joke.  Billy Madison is a character in a movie who goes back to school in his mid-twenties.  Much like myself.  Except, he starts back in Grade One and I'm starting back in first year University.  

Still, the joke is, just as Billy was the oldest in his classes, so am I (with the exception of a woman taking an interest course).  Now, I'm no stranger to going back to school, in fact I've gone back to school about 3 times already.  I've only finished one of those times.  But I had something else going for me those times... my age.  I was at just the "right" age to go back to school... between 19 and 22.  I was young, carefree, living at home and plenty irresponsible.  

Fast forward to now, when at 25, I've taken a big step and shifted my life back into student mode after almost 4 years of doing not that much with my life.  Admittedly, 25 is still young.  I realize this.  But for first year University students these days, the average age seems to be 18 .  So see, I've fallen off this scale a few years ago.  

So not only have I uprooted my life and moved across the country to a small town with a population of a little over 4000 where I don't know anyone, but I feel that draining self conscious feeling of "I'm so old" whenever I bump into what looks like a 13 year old.  This happens on a daily basis.

But enough of this sob story, because this isn't a sob story.  It's actually quite an amusing situation I've voluntarily placed myself in.  I want to share this social experiment with whoever would enjoy to follow.  

I'll leave off with a few things I've noticed/done/seen/heard/avoided/wanted/etc. from the last week... just to get the ball rolling.

1.  I avoided shaking hands with the president of the school and was given a dirty look by the "Spirit Squad" when I said I was "skipping Frosh Week so I don't need a bracelet, thanks".

2.  I avoided Frosh week like the plague.

3.  I heard some girls complaining about the Freshman 15 as they chugged 1.5L's of Pepsi.

4.  This school is huge on athletics.  You can take gym class for University credit.

5.  I get lost on campus every day.

6.  I've talked to 2 people in my classes.  One girl in Irish Gaelic (which I've dropped), and one woman in Spanish (who is 40 and drives me nuts).

7.  Drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes by yourself every day is not as fun as I make it out to be.

8.  I usually pretend I'm deep into an important text message to avoid eye contact with other students.

9.  Pretty much 90% of the students live in Residence so they all already know eachother.

10.  The jocks are the cool kids and us cool kids are the losers.  Like in 80's teen classics.